Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Randomize
