Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
