Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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