no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize