If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
so much tequila, so little girl.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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