do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
