More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
