i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
