The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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