Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
