Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I need to calm my uterus...
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
