so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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