i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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