Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
