susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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