Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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