I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
