there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
