My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
