So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
