You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
