Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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