I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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