I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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