I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
