"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
