this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
