Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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