Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
