How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
