I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
