Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize