Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
My vagina just recognized that song.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
