oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
