Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
