The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
operation harelip BJ is a go
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
