I CAN MOONWALK!
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
You took a bar mat shot.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
