If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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