I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
