on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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