THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
