i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
