I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
dude i'm inner monologue high
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
