No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
