Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
How's work?
Spinning.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
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