Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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