so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
