I cockslap morals
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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