I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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