I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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