Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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