laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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