My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Sext me about skeletons
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
