I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
