woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
