I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
