you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
