She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
