So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize