My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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