Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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