I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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