During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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