once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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