Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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